Roast Beast

Since the only food I have in my fridge right now that doesn't require further cooking and/or preparation is half a container of hummus and enough rice to feed a small nation for a year, I decided that today would be a good day to stop by Arby's for lunch. And in an attempt to compromise between my current, somewhat inexplicable love of Arby's and my midwife's stern admonitions that I'm eating too much, I decided to get just a sad little sandwich with no fries to keep it company.

As excited as I was about my sandwich, I decided that I would act like a reasonable human being instead of a half-starved warthog, so I put the sandwich into the fridge until noon. What I failed to consider is that by noon, I was so crazed with hunger, that all the things I know about microwaves and metal just flew right out of my head. As a result of which I put my ALUMINUM FOIL WRAPPED SANDWICH into the microwave for a minute. And realized my folly about 11 seconds later, thanks to the Very Strange Noises that the microwave was emitting.

As it turns out, aluminum foil? Totally catches on fire in a microwave. If I were thinking like a reasonable human being, I would've thrown the sandwich away because burned metal + roast beef + cheddar? Not so appetizing. But since I was thinking like a half-starved warthog instead, I just blew out the flame, made sure there was no foil burned onto the sandwich, and then ate the thing anyway. It was surprisingly good. Kind of barbecue-y. And now, my office smells like it survived a forest fire.