Cabin Fever

I decided today that 40 degrees is plenty warm enough to spend an hour at the park. Why, you ask? Because here are some things I've had to say over the past two days that really should never need to be said:

• "Yellow Cat does not want to be put into a box and pushed around the room."
  
• "It's not nice to throw our friend across the room."
• "Suitcases are not trampolines, get DOWN from there!"
• "I know there's a picture of a banana in that book, but please don't eat the book."
• "Markers are not delicious. Here, eat an apple instead."
• "I'll help Other Baby into the high chair, Luke, DO NOT try to pick him up."
• "My phone is NOT a toy. Who are you calling???"
• "We. Do. Not. Lick. Batteries. EVER."
• "Ouch! No biting toes!"
• "Play-doh doesn't belong in the toilet."
• "You ATE the foam football? Ok, no more foam toys until you're 12. At least."
  

The Ridiculous Book of Unrealistic Disciplinary Tactics says something about phrasing all your requests to children positively. Which works great when I want two toddlers to roll their little toddler eyes at me and continue chewing on my shoes.