Oh, Frabjous Day

I need to get my windshield replaced because there are two very large cracks in it as a result of cows, trucks, and rocks. Don't ask. So I spent a little while on the phone getting quotes. As a result, I have some pieces of advice for people in the windshield-fixing-business.

1. The proper way to answer a business phone is "[Name of Business], how may I help you?" Or even just "[Name of Business]," if you're feeling a bit fractious. Not "Hey." Not "Huh?" Not "Yup." Because when you say "Hey," "Huh," or "Yup," you then put the customer in the place of having to say "Is this such-and-such company?" and if the customer is feeling peevish, that might just be enough for them to take their business elsewhere. GUESS HOW I WAS FEELING TODAY.
2. If you own a business, get a separate business phone. Seriously. Because if I call the phone number that you have listed as your business phone and you answer it AND THEN TELL ME YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME because you're closed on weekends, it's not going to do a thing to help my peevish mood. And also, on the excel sheet listing all the nearby companies and their price quotes, I'm going to write "Incompetent Jackass" next to your name. (That part did help my mood a little bit.)
3. If you put me on hold when I call you, you'd better be damn sure your phone is working when you take me off hold. Because if I have to sit and wait for you while listening to an annoying jingle for 5 minutes and then, when you finally come back to talk to me, your phone cuts off and hangs up on me? Yeah. Not helping the mood. Or your business, for that matter.
4. If I call for a quote on a windshield replacement, I EXPECT THAT QUOTE TO INCLUDE THE COST OF INSTALLATION. What did you think I was going to do, superglue the thing to my car?
   

I think that certain people draw strange conversations to themselves. I am 100% convinced that I am one of those people. And I'm used to this. I no longer assume that any question is completely innocent. I pretty much expect conversations with strangers to go to weird places. But. I'm also not good at subtlety.

Last spring, people were pretty convinced that Luke and Other Baby were twins because they were clearly pretty close in age, but over the summer, Luke has gotten taller and lost most of his baby chub, so people tend to assume he's older than he actually is. Other Baby, however, still has his delicious baby rolls and his sweet, fuzzy, baby hair, so he can pass for younger than his 13 months.

So in the past week that he's been back with us, I've gotten a lot of curious looks and several people have asked me how far apart they are in age. Most of the time, I've been expecting the question, so I preface my answer with "They're not both mine." Because really, that's what they're asking. But this morning, Other Baby was having a fit about something and I was trying to gather up Luke and the diaper bag and the baby carrier and get everyone out of the playgroup we were attending, so I was a little bit pre-occupied:

Woman who was helping me get out the door: So how far apart are they?
Me: Two-and-a-half months.
Woman: [Stops in her tracks] What?
Me, frazzled and wondering why she was so surprised by this information: Two-and-a-half months.
Woman, looking thoroughly confused: So...was the little one a preemie?
Me: Huh? No...
Woman: But...Oh, you mean the older one was two-and-a-half months when you got pregnant again?
Me: HUH? OH! Yeah, this one isn't mine.

It wasn't until after I got everyone settled in the car that I realized that in order to explain how they could've been just two months apart, the woman had asked me if Other Baby was a preemie. Except even if he had been mine and he had been a preemie...HE WOULD'VE HAD TO BE BORN IN THE FIRST TRIMESTER in order for this scenario to work.

Pictures, Take Three

Luke, Other Baby, and I went to a farm last week, where we looked at several animals. The pig was the best:

The fake horses and wagon were a big hit, too:

As were the horse-on-a-stick things that later doubled as fencing swords:

He doesn't look altogether comfortable on this tractor, does he?

FYI: Peanut butter? Not the best thing to take on outings like this:

But my favorite was, by far, the goats. How could you not love animals that stand on top of their home?

Zoo!

We went to the zoo earlier in the summer, only this time, we couldn't quite figure out the logistics of baby and dog and hotel room so it became a day-trip.

The sea lions and seals were the best:
We drove 90 minutes each way so the McMoose and Luke could poke cacti:
And touch fake fish:

Think he was trying to imitate the puffin on his shirt?

Luke slept through the giraffes and elephants:

But woke up just in time to do some farming:

All that work could drive a baby to drink:

Dressed Up and Dressed Down

Now that I've spent an hour organizing three months worth of pictures on the computer, maybe I should actually post some here.

Luke's first encounter with paint:

And the second:

We went to a dress-up party, so Luke got to wear his "suit" one last time:

Think it's getting a bit snug?

Red jam + dress up clothes: awesome!

Nocturnal

Mornings come early nowadays as Luke is experimenting with being an early riser. There has been more than one morning this week when I've found myself staring into his bright, smiling eyes at 5 in the morning, thinking If this kid wasn't so darn cute, I'd be selling him to the circus RIGHT NOW.

Yesterday, I decided to experiment with changing this wake-up time around by keeping him in bed with us all night, reasoning that if I were able to get to him the moment he woke up, I might have better luck at getting him to go back to sleep. It worked, too--our day didn't start until 6:30 this morning, but I failed to take into consideration the fact that I'm so mesmerized by this kid that every time I woke up even a little bit, my mind went instantly into a litany of Oh, he's so cute, look at him lying there asleep, I should really take a few minutes to watch him sleep and appreciate this season of my life.

Plus, I learned that Luke talks in his sleep. Yes, he babbles intermittently, Thank you, yes. Mama. Mama? All done. With all this talking going on, I was awake again and thinking Aww! He talks in his sleep! Just like his Mama! How cute! So I spent another 20 minutes or so trying to engage him in a whispered conversation, until McMoose started grumbling in his sleep. And also? The kid laughs in his sleep. Maniacally. Like someone is tickling him and he can't quite catch his breath.

End result: The day might have started an hour and a half hour later than usual, but I spent at least 3 hours awake staring at, talking to, and being amused by the baby. Not a bad use of that time, by any means, but it didn't really accomplish the getting-more-sleep goal.

Things I Said Today...

• Luke, I don't need help changing Other Baby's diaper.
• Please don't eat the carpet fuzz, Other Baby.
• Please don't put the carpet fuzz in Other Baby's mouth, Luke.
• We do NOT climb the DVD tower. It's unstable and will fall on you and then, I'll have to find a way to explain to your mommy why her baby is now pate.
• Don't lick me. Don't lick me. Do. Not. LICK. Me.
• Luke, please don't try to feed him your boogies.
• Other Baby, if it bothers you that he's standing next to you, WALK AWAY!
• Luke, Other Baby is not a cat. He doesn't want to chase the toy mouse.
• Other Baby, if you put your finger in Luke's mouth again, he will bite you. Again.

(You might not be able to tell from the above statements, but I'm having great fun with these two guys. Except for the being licked. That, I could live without.)