Green

My pain has a color and it is green.

I thought I knew what pregnancy would bring, but this one brings with it headaches, which the last one did not. Headaches almost every afternoon, which last until I go to bed at night. Headaches that, most of the time, are just annoying, but which sometimes, like today, alter my world just a little bit.

I watched the sky turn from a calm blue to a frothy, restless green as I drove the boys to the playground. The sand in the sandbox felt like lime jello, soft and squishy instead of crunchy. I ask McMoose if he could be done with work closer to 5 than 6 and when he walks out of the office at 5:15, I think that this is the best present I've ever gotten.

I close my eyes and see waves of pain in shades of green colliding and bleeding into each other. I open my eyes and look into Other Baby's eyes, eyes that I know are blue but that look olive green. The effect is unsettling. I listen to the toddlers banging on the wall with their play hammers and the sound is sharp and neon green.

If my pain has to have a color, I wish it were blue.