Choices

Do forced choices ever work? That is, if you give kids two equally acceptable choices, do they ever choose one of the provided options? Because here's how the forced choice scenario plays out around here:

Me: Luke, you can either hand that book back to Weston yourself or I can help you do it. Which would you prefer?
Luke: None of the above.

Me: Would you like chicken or pizza for lunch?
Luke: A peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Me: We have no bread. So chicken or pizza?
Luke: No, no, no. I want a hill of peanut butter and jelly on my plate with no bread. Please.

Me: Please stop playing with your milk cup.
Luke, as he continues playing with his milk cup: Snarble.
Me: You may either put your cup down or I can put it back in the fridge.
Luke: Do you know who says, "Snarble?" Snarble-monkey-monsters say, "Snarble." And snarble-monkey-monsters do not understand person rules because they are not persons. They understand snarble-monkey-monster rules. And snarble-monkey-monster rules are that you always, always should play with your cup.

Me: Weston, would you like to walk down the stairs or be carried?
Weston: No walk. No Mama carry. Duke-bear carry. [Aside: Yes, he now calls Luke "Duke-bear."]
Me: No, Luka-bear cannot carry you down the stairs.
West, yelling: Duke-bear! Duke-bear! Help me! Carry Weston!
Luke, running to lend assistance: Yes, I'll carry you, Weston!
Me: No, you will not. Only mamas and dadas carry children down the stairs.
Luke, looking at me: You sound grumpy today, Mama.
Weston: Grumpy Mama!