All week long, I look forward to Friday evening because it means that for two whole days, I'll have another adult at home. I can eat without having to nurse the baby at the same time. I can do the laundry without worrying that he will wake up while I'm only halfway done folding the clothes. I can take a shower without chanting nursery rhymes to entertain Luke, who sits in a chair and growls at his fists the whole time (Yes, he growls. Like an annoyed little tiger).
And all that is wonderful. But. The beauty of weekdays? I have no schedule. I don't try to get him to eat or nap at given times, and as a result, he eats and naps like a dream. And even when I DO have a schedule--when I'm meeting a friend for lunch or when I'm planning a trip to the store or the library--he still senses that I'm more relaxed about it, so he complies with my plans. On weekends, on the other hand, I tend to hurry him through his meals and and then hand him off to McMoose so that I can catch up on whatever it is that needs to be done, and apparently, Luke feels all rushed and unloved because he turns into an ornery little grumpus.
A grumpus who refuses to play. A grumpus who refuses to smile. And, dear God, a grumpus who REFUSES TO SLEEP. Luckily, after a painfully nap-less weekend, the grumpus has retreated and we've been enjoying a Monday filled with naps and lunches with friends and long games of Stick-Your-Tongue-Out-And-Grin-Like-A-Fool. Who knew there would come a day when I'd look forward to Mondays?
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Belonephobia
I got to go to the doctor yesterday for the first time since Luke was born and as I was sitting in the waiting room, it occurred to me that this is the longest I've gone without a doctor's visit since last August. On the other hand, I'll be spending lots and lots of time in the pediatrician's waiting room in the coming months, as Luke will have appointments pretty much once a month until he's 6 months old. It's still kind of strange adapting from being a Pregnant Woman to a Mom Of A Young Child.
In any case, after the interminable wait, a nurse finally came to get me and I have to admit, I was not looking forward to this visit. At least the prenatal appointments were exciting because of the ultrasounds and the hearing-the-baby's-heartbeat and all that jazz. Now, it's all needles and blood tests and un-fun examinations. So I'm sitting there, waiting for a finger prick and SHIVERING because I'm so nervous about it, which of course prompted the nurse to ask me how I ever got through childbirth if I'm so scared about a little needle. I thought about that and I've decided that the answer is this: my childbirth experience? Didn't involve so many needles.
I was kind of hoping that the whole pregnancy and delivery thing would make me get over my fear of needles, but that clearly hasn't happened. In fact, I think I'm even MORE scared of them now than I was before, which makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE to me, but there it is. I feel this probably means I'm going to be a basket case at Luke's 2 month appointment, when he will get his first set of shots (which I'm already panicking over. Awesome).
In any case, after the interminable wait, a nurse finally came to get me and I have to admit, I was not looking forward to this visit. At least the prenatal appointments were exciting because of the ultrasounds and the hearing-the-baby's-heartbeat and all that jazz. Now, it's all needles and blood tests and un-fun examinations. So I'm sitting there, waiting for a finger prick and SHIVERING because I'm so nervous about it, which of course prompted the nurse to ask me how I ever got through childbirth if I'm so scared about a little needle. I thought about that and I've decided that the answer is this: my childbirth experience? Didn't involve so many needles.
I was kind of hoping that the whole pregnancy and delivery thing would make me get over my fear of needles, but that clearly hasn't happened. In fact, I think I'm even MORE scared of them now than I was before, which makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE to me, but there it is. I feel this probably means I'm going to be a basket case at Luke's 2 month appointment, when he will get his first set of shots (which I'm already panicking over. Awesome).
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Sleeping Like A Baby
Last night, I fed the baby from 9 to 10, then went to bed at 10:30...and found myself waking up at 4:45 a.m., to the sound of a lightly fussing baby. That's over SIX hours. Of sleep. Blissful, uninterrupted sleep. And then, later this morning, we took a two hour nap together, bringing the grand total to 8 hours (my fingers are shivering with excitement just to type that sentence). And now, he's asleep again. In his crib. Where he has been for the past two hours.
Since I've pretty much OD'd on sleep, I took the past two hours as an opportunity to catch up on email...commune with the cats...start the laundry...drink some tea...clean the bathroom...drink more tea...and now, for the first time in 6 and a half weeks, I'm BORED.
I know I should enjoy this nothing-to-do feeling. I know that in all likelihood, he'll wake up every two hours tonight. I know that he probably won't nap like this again until his first birthday. I know all of this, and yet, here I sit, beside the crib, willing the kid to wake up so that I'll have someone to play with.
Since I've pretty much OD'd on sleep, I took the past two hours as an opportunity to catch up on email...commune with the cats...start the laundry...drink some tea...clean the bathroom...drink more tea...and now, for the first time in 6 and a half weeks, I'm BORED.
I know I should enjoy this nothing-to-do feeling. I know that in all likelihood, he'll wake up every two hours tonight. I know that he probably won't nap like this again until his first birthday. I know all of this, and yet, here I sit, beside the crib, willing the kid to wake up so that I'll have someone to play with.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Milestones
Last week was a big one for Luke (aka Tookie, The Manicus, Smalls, and Chompers) because not only did he turn 6 weeks old and meet his grandpa from Canada for the first time, but he also figured out how to smile AND roll over. Like I said, a pretty big week. The rolling over was apparently not as exciting as he had expected because after spending an entire morning trying to figure it out, he rolled a handful of times and hasn't done it again since. Of course, I've been promising him ice cream and Transformers if he'll do it again, but as it turns out, he doesn't quite understand the concept of a bribe yet.
Smiling, on the other hand, has been a huge hit, in no small part because McMoose and I make such a big deal out of it. You'd think he'd just called manna down from the heavens, the way we carry on, but it's the first piece of evidence that there's a person in there. And let's be honest here, there's only so much time you can spend playing with someone who just stares blankly off into space. So the smiling, it's a big improvement. Much more conducive to conversation. Plus, it opens up all kinds of photo ops:
And, just to combat all that sweetness, he has also perfected his oh-so-fierce frown:
Smiling, on the other hand, has been a huge hit, in no small part because McMoose and I make such a big deal out of it. You'd think he'd just called manna down from the heavens, the way we carry on, but it's the first piece of evidence that there's a person in there. And let's be honest here, there's only so much time you can spend playing with someone who just stares blankly off into space. So the smiling, it's a big improvement. Much more conducive to conversation. Plus, it opens up all kinds of photo ops:
And, just to combat all that sweetness, he has also perfected his oh-so-fierce frown:
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Guilt Trip
For almost two years, I worked in the infant room of a daycare. As you may know, daycare workers tend to be overworked and underpaid, so in order to (a) keep my job and (b) pay my rent, I worked 35 hours a week while I was in school and close to 60 hours a week while not in school. What all that means is that over a two year period, I spent over 6,000 hours with babies aged 6 weeks to 18 months. And not one of those 6,000 hours was spent one-on-one with a kid. In fact, I spent the great majority of that time with 4-5 babies in my direct care. So naturally, I expected that this whole Being-Responsible-For-One-Single-Baby thing would be a piece of cake...HA!
Now that the kid that I'm taking care of is mine, the task is somehow infinitely more complicated. I don't get to give him back at 6 PM. I don't get a half-hour lunch break. There are no co-workers in the room to take over when I have to go to the bathroom or get a drink. And inexplicably, the tricks that worked with the daycare babies don't work with this one. He isn't content to spend hours sleeping in the swing, he hates his little chair, and I could swear I saw him roll his eyes at me when I suggested that he hang out on his play mat for a few minutes. And perhaps the biggest difference of all--I can't let this one cry.
I never really had a problem listening to the daycare kids crying and, in fact, for the first two weeks or so, Luke's crying didn't bother me too much either. And then, the kid learned who I was and ever since then, he stares STRAIGHT INTO MY EYES while he screams. I'd like to further point out that when McMoose is holding him and he cries, he actually AVOIDS eye contact. So apparently, I'm the designated sucker of the family and at 41 days of age, my kid has already figured out exactly how to play me.
Now that the kid that I'm taking care of is mine, the task is somehow infinitely more complicated. I don't get to give him back at 6 PM. I don't get a half-hour lunch break. There are no co-workers in the room to take over when I have to go to the bathroom or get a drink. And inexplicably, the tricks that worked with the daycare babies don't work with this one. He isn't content to spend hours sleeping in the swing, he hates his little chair, and I could swear I saw him roll his eyes at me when I suggested that he hang out on his play mat for a few minutes. And perhaps the biggest difference of all--I can't let this one cry.
I never really had a problem listening to the daycare kids crying and, in fact, for the first two weeks or so, Luke's crying didn't bother me too much either. And then, the kid learned who I was and ever since then, he stares STRAIGHT INTO MY EYES while he screams. I'd like to further point out that when McMoose is holding him and he cries, he actually AVOIDS eye contact. So apparently, I'm the designated sucker of the family and at 41 days of age, my kid has already figured out exactly how to play me.
Monday, June 15, 2009
The Great Outdoors
We took Luke out "hiking" on a trail yesterday. And by hiking, I mean that we let the Dog lead us down a trail that was 0.6 miles long. McMoose spent the entire time looking for "cool caterpillars." I spent the entire time looking for not-so-cool snakes. And poison ivy. And mosquitoes. And bees. And serial killers. Because if I were a serial killer, I would totally hide in the forest if I were looking for my next victim.
Of course, because the trail was just over half a mile long, we were able to walk it in No Time At All, even going at the Dog's pace, so we decided to walk around the nearby lake for a while. Sadly, we did not think to take a camera, but oh, how I wish we had because I've never seen Luke's eyes wider or bluer. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen that kid happier. I mean, not only did he not cry for 45 whole minutes, but he actually looked around, seemingly interested in something outside of himself. And? He made happy noises. HAPPY NOISES! I was starting to doubt whether that kid had the ability to make happy noises because so far, most of his noises have been more along the lines of "Let me tell you what's wrong with the world today."
So apparently, in addition to having McMoose's eyes and hair and ears and mouth and head and fingers and toes, he ALSO has his appreciation of the outdoors. Which means that I better get over my fear of snakes and bees and serial killers because apparently, I'm going to be spending a whole lot more time outside.
Of course, because the trail was just over half a mile long, we were able to walk it in No Time At All, even going at the Dog's pace, so we decided to walk around the nearby lake for a while. Sadly, we did not think to take a camera, but oh, how I wish we had because I've never seen Luke's eyes wider or bluer. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen that kid happier. I mean, not only did he not cry for 45 whole minutes, but he actually looked around, seemingly interested in something outside of himself. And? He made happy noises. HAPPY NOISES! I was starting to doubt whether that kid had the ability to make happy noises because so far, most of his noises have been more along the lines of "Let me tell you what's wrong with the world today."
So apparently, in addition to having McMoose's eyes and hair and ears and mouth and head and fingers and toes, he ALSO has his appreciation of the outdoors. Which means that I better get over my fear of snakes and bees and serial killers because apparently, I'm going to be spending a whole lot more time outside.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Losing Time
I went out to lunch with a friend earlier this week and she asked me whether I was bored staying home with the baby all day. I instantly replied that I didn't have the time to be bored, which is the truth, but after I said it, it occurred to me that boredom was my number one fear about staying home with Luke. I knew I could handle the crying and the diaper changing and the feeding and all that, but I genuinely thought that I'd spend large portions of my day looking for things to do.
As it turns out, there are actually not enough hours in the day to get done all the things I want to do. My to-do list during the day goes something like this:
1. Feed the baby
2. Change the baby.
3. Try to keep the baby somewhat content. When that fails, return to feeding and changing the baby.
4. Get in enough naps so that I get at least 6 hours of sleep for every 24 hour period. This usually happens in frustrating, one-hour increments. (Today, however, I got in 3 two-hour increments instead, which means I feel like a SUPERHERO!)
5. Brush teeth.
6. Remember to eat.
7. Shower.
8. Do the laundry if (a) we're running low on cloth diapers or (b) the piles are spilling out of the basket and onto the floor.
9. Try to get out of the house at least one time per day.
That's it. Those 8 little things right there keep my schedule completely filled up. In fact, there have been days (like today) when I haven't gotten past the 5th item on the list and really, I don't understand why. I mean, I could sit down and make a list of what I've been doing all day (Feeding...changing...napping), but even with the list, I just don't get it. I'm thinking that maybe babies mess with the time-space continuum in such a way that they create little black holes that just suck up time, so when you're around them for extended periods, you just start losing large chunks of your day. This would also explain the phenomenon whereby at some point, EVERY SINGLE PARENT on the face of the planet utters the phrase, "Wow, I can't believe how fast he/she has grown up...it seems like just yesterday that [insert nostalgic event here]."
Black holes. It's all about those darn black holes.
As it turns out, there are actually not enough hours in the day to get done all the things I want to do. My to-do list during the day goes something like this:
1. Feed the baby
2. Change the baby.
3. Try to keep the baby somewhat content. When that fails, return to feeding and changing the baby.
4. Get in enough naps so that I get at least 6 hours of sleep for every 24 hour period. This usually happens in frustrating, one-hour increments. (Today, however, I got in 3 two-hour increments instead, which means I feel like a SUPERHERO!)
5. Brush teeth.
6. Remember to eat.
7. Shower.
8. Do the laundry if (a) we're running low on cloth diapers or (b) the piles are spilling out of the basket and onto the floor.
9. Try to get out of the house at least one time per day.
That's it. Those 8 little things right there keep my schedule completely filled up. In fact, there have been days (like today) when I haven't gotten past the 5th item on the list and really, I don't understand why. I mean, I could sit down and make a list of what I've been doing all day (Feeding...changing...napping), but even with the list, I just don't get it. I'm thinking that maybe babies mess with the time-space continuum in such a way that they create little black holes that just suck up time, so when you're around them for extended periods, you just start losing large chunks of your day. This would also explain the phenomenon whereby at some point, EVERY SINGLE PARENT on the face of the planet utters the phrase, "Wow, I can't believe how fast he/she has grown up...it seems like just yesterday that [insert nostalgic event here]."
Black holes. It's all about those darn black holes.
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