The conversation that just happened here went something like this:
Me: He has been quiet for a while now. Think he's asleep?
McMoose: Maybe.
Me: You should go check on him...um...
Mc: Quietly?
Me: Yes, quietly, but what I really want to say is, "in an espionag-y fashion."
Mc: *Looks at me like I've lost my mind*
Me: Sneakily!
Mc: Covertly?
Me: Furtively!!! Furtively is a great word.
Mc: Yes, but furtively...means...*checking on google* "with a hidden motive or purpose. You want me to have a hidden motive?
Me: Yes! So here's how I do it: I slooooowly turn the handle so it doesn't make a sound. I crack the door open two centimeters. No, maybe one-and-a-half centimeters. Then, I line up my line of vision so that I can see him through the crack. Then, I wait twenty seconds--no, really, you have to count to twenty...with Mississippis. And then, if he's not moving, I open the door a tiny bit more and look at his eyes. If his eyes aren't blinking, he's asleep.
Mc: Here's how I do it. I open the door. He's not moving. I go over to the bed. He's not moving. I look to see if he's breathing. I can't tell. I go closer to see if he's breathing. I still can't tell. I put my hand on his belly to see if he's breathing. I think he is but I still can't be sure.
It's conversations like this that convince me that we really are meant to be together.
Me: He has been quiet for a while now. Think he's asleep?
McMoose: Maybe.
Me: You should go check on him...um...
Mc: Quietly?
Me: Yes, quietly, but what I really want to say is, "in an espionag-y fashion."
Mc: *Looks at me like I've lost my mind*
Me: Sneakily!
Mc: Covertly?
Me: Furtively!!! Furtively is a great word.
Mc: Yes, but furtively...means...*checking on google* "with a hidden motive or purpose. You want me to have a hidden motive?
Me: Yes! So here's how I do it: I slooooowly turn the handle so it doesn't make a sound. I crack the door open two centimeters. No, maybe one-and-a-half centimeters. Then, I line up my line of vision so that I can see him through the crack. Then, I wait twenty seconds--no, really, you have to count to twenty...with Mississippis. And then, if he's not moving, I open the door a tiny bit more and look at his eyes. If his eyes aren't blinking, he's asleep.
Mc: Here's how I do it. I open the door. He's not moving. I go over to the bed. He's not moving. I look to see if he's breathing. I can't tell. I go closer to see if he's breathing. I still can't tell. I put my hand on his belly to see if he's breathing. I think he is but I still can't be sure.
It's conversations like this that convince me that we really are meant to be together.
No comments:
Post a Comment