Friday, October 21, 2011

No Good Mother

On Tuesday morning, we were out at a playground. It was a beautiful fall morning and Luke and I were enjoying the outdoors while Weston napped happily in the sling. All in all, the perfect morning. Enter Random Woman.

Woman: Hey!
Me: *Turn to see who's yelling*
Woman: You no good mother! Baby needs hat. Come on, lady!

Ok, seriously? I know lots of people like to offer unsolicited advice to moms who are out with babies...hoo boy, do I know it. But is it really necessary to heckle them too? Of course, I glared at her and she walked off huffily and that was the end of that interaction, at least for her, but it continued to bother me for a few reasons:

  1. In any other situation, offering unsolicited advice is taboo, but because I have a baby, it's acceptable? Heck, no.
  2. I might have been a mom who feels that hats are overrated, in which case, randomly yelling across the playground at me is probably not going to change my mind.
  3. Alternately, I might be a mom who feels that hats are VITALLY IMPORTANT and who is already beating myself up because I forgot my baby's vitally important hat. In which case, you've just made my bad day even worse. Thanks.
In reality, I feel that hats are somewhat useful when it's cold (which it wasn't) or really sunny (which it was, but we spent most of our time in the shade, so it wasn't a big deal.) Furthermore, vitamin D is important, especially since Weston is breastfed and not currently getting a vitamin supplement. So. Modest amounts of sunlight are good for the kid. He has a head full of hair and his skin tone is such that a few minutes in the weak, morning sun on a fall morning aren't going to cause him to get a sunburn. And more to the point, because I am his mother, because I spend EVERY DAY with him, because I know all of this about him, I weighed the pros and cons of a hat and decided that it was unnecessary. And yet, Random Woman felt that not only did she know better than me what was best for my child, but that because my choices differed from hers, it instantly made me a bad mom.

Of course, if all I have to do to earn a "Good Mother" sticker is put a hat on my kids, I'm set. I mean, according to that logic, I can feed them a steady diet of fast food, park them in front of the TV all day and night, and beat them senseless, but hey, none of that will matter so long as I remember a hat, right?

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