Gems From Today

Today has been an unusually entertaining day, in terms of things that Luke has said to me. Here are a few of my favorites:

Me: The bumblebee did not sting you.
Luke, nearly hysterical: It diiiiiiid!!!!!
Me: Luke. I am looking at the spot where you think you got stung and it's not even red.
Luke: It STIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGED MEEEEEE!!!!
Me: If you got stung, you would be really ouchy. Are you really ouchy?
Luke: No.
Me: Ok, good. Anyway, I don't even know if bumblebees have stingers. Do you think they do?
Luke: I don't know. But they do have really sharp feet and he climbed on me and walked on my pants and his sharp feet poked me. And now, he's digging in the grass and when he gets done, he will come back and really sting me, so let's go back inside. Right now.

I convinced him to try riding his bike, since that was why we had gone outside in the first place. He rode for about 2 minutes, then decided that his leg was too sore to continue riding, so we went back inside, where he related the whole incident to McMoose and then played happily for about 20 minutes. During this time, there was no mention of the bee, the alleged sting, or a sore leg.

Me: Ok, Luke, it's time to clean up so we can eat lunch.
Luke: I cannot.
Me: I believe you can.
Luke: No, I really cannot. I don't have big muscles. I used to have big muscles, but then, the bee stinged my muscles and made them really, really small. So now, I have baby muscles and they cannot clean up. They cannot walk. Can you carry me to the table?

Once he had regained his ability to walk (and clean,) we made peanut butter sandwiches for our lunch. I told him to take the bread back to the pantry and while he had the door open, Weston decided to go explore in there.
Luke: Mama! Mama! Mamamamamamamama!
Me: What?!
Luke: The baby is in the pantry, looking at the toilet paper.
Me: Ok. I'll get him in a second.
Luke: Mama! The BABY is in the PANTRY, I said! Get him! Get him, get him, get him!
Me: Dude! I will get him in. one. second.
Luke: Mama, I am really not comfortable with the baby being in the pantry.