For the past almost-two-years, I've been putting off some paperwork that really needed to get done because: (a) I didn't want to do it; (b) I couldn't concentrate on it with the kids running around; (c) I was worried about the end result of filing said paperwork; and (d) I really just didn't want to do it. Today, finally, was the day that I sat down to do it. It went something like this:
(1) Dear Friend comes over to watch the kids so I have no more excuses.
(2) Instead of doing paperwork, go out to the garden and pick a pile of green beans and two tomatoes.
(3) Instead of doing paperwork, go to Starbucks. Because clearly, caffeine is a necessity in this kind of endeavor.
(4) Instead of doing paperwork, sit and visit with Dear Friend until it becomes clear that really, I need to go get started.
(5) Go into office and close door. Sit in spinny chair. Spin.
(6) Turn on laptop. Huff.
(7) Open the half-finished form, which has been untouched for the past almost-two-years.
(8) Look through the information to see if anything has changed. Realize that two years ago, I weighed twenty pounds more because Weston was just a few months old. Gleefully change this information. Congratulate self on postpartum weight loss. Wonder why, if I have lost all that weight, I still have what Luke calls "a big, jiggly belly."
(9) Realize that one of the documents I didn't want to look for is no longer relevant because I have waited long enough that it no longer falls within the window of "During the past five years." Celebrate because this might be the first time procrastination has served me well.
(10) Complete the entirety of Form A.
(11) Realize that before I can submit Form A, I need to complete, submit, and wait for approval of Form B.
(12) Huff.
(13) Complete most of Form B. Call people who might have the rest of the information. Leave messages on their voicemails.
(14) Realize that before I can submit Form B, I may or may not need to complete, submit, and wait for approval of Form C. Realize that no information exists IN THE ENTIRETY OF THE INTERNET about whether I do or do not need to complete Form C prior to submitting Form B.
(15) HUFF.
(16) Read the requirements for Form C. Huff again because every. blessed. thing. has to be notarized.
(17) Realize that in order to file Form C, I either have to mail sensitive legal documents and put my trust in a delivery service or personally deliver the documents to an office that is near my mom's house. Where we spent all of last week. When I could have turned in the documents. If I had known about it.
I am really not interested in being an adult any longer. Where's the form to request an adjustment in status back to childhood?
(1) Dear Friend comes over to watch the kids so I have no more excuses.
(2) Instead of doing paperwork, go out to the garden and pick a pile of green beans and two tomatoes.
(3) Instead of doing paperwork, go to Starbucks. Because clearly, caffeine is a necessity in this kind of endeavor.
(4) Instead of doing paperwork, sit and visit with Dear Friend until it becomes clear that really, I need to go get started.
(5) Go into office and close door. Sit in spinny chair. Spin.
(6) Turn on laptop. Huff.
(7) Open the half-finished form, which has been untouched for the past almost-two-years.
(8) Look through the information to see if anything has changed. Realize that two years ago, I weighed twenty pounds more because Weston was just a few months old. Gleefully change this information. Congratulate self on postpartum weight loss. Wonder why, if I have lost all that weight, I still have what Luke calls "a big, jiggly belly."
(9) Realize that one of the documents I didn't want to look for is no longer relevant because I have waited long enough that it no longer falls within the window of "During the past five years." Celebrate because this might be the first time procrastination has served me well.
(10) Complete the entirety of Form A.
(11) Realize that before I can submit Form A, I need to complete, submit, and wait for approval of Form B.
(12) Huff.
(13) Complete most of Form B. Call people who might have the rest of the information. Leave messages on their voicemails.
(14) Realize that before I can submit Form B, I may or may not need to complete, submit, and wait for approval of Form C. Realize that no information exists IN THE ENTIRETY OF THE INTERNET about whether I do or do not need to complete Form C prior to submitting Form B.
(15) HUFF.
(16) Read the requirements for Form C. Huff again because every. blessed. thing. has to be notarized.
(17) Realize that in order to file Form C, I either have to mail sensitive legal documents and put my trust in a delivery service or personally deliver the documents to an office that is near my mom's house. Where we spent all of last week. When I could have turned in the documents. If I had known about it.
I am really not interested in being an adult any longer. Where's the form to request an adjustment in status back to childhood?
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