Doggie Daycare

Ever since moving to Raleigh, any time we've gone out of town, we've taken the Dog with us. This was partly because we love him and want him to be with us, but it's also in large part because we haven't been able to find a decent kennel. And by "decent," I mean "a place that will remember to feed the Dog, but also cost less than $25 per day." But as you may have gleaned from reading other posts about the aforementioned Dog, he's not exactly the best behaved animal in the world. And as he lived with my mother for 6 years before coming to live with me, she knows all about his bad behavior and as a result, he is no longer allowed to visit her house.

So since we're planning to visit her in two weeks, finding a kennel became a fairly pressing issue. Since I know from experience just how impossible THAT task happens to be, I gladly passed it on to McMoose. And of course, he very quickly discovered what seems to be the one kennel in all of Raleigh that seems (a) not horrifying and abusive and (b) not ridiculously expensive. Except that this place? It gives "treating animals like babies" a WHOLE new meaning. Because while the base cost of boarding the dog is reasonable, the extras that you can add on are the dictionary definition of CRAZY.

For example, you can pay for your dog to get a midday and midnight snack. And for a special plush bed. And for a "climate controlled" run outside (which I'm thinking probably means "shielded from the rain"). And for your dog to be tucked in at night, complete with a goodnight HUG. And, AND for a wall-mounted TV that plays dog themed movies at certain times of the day. Is it just me, or does all this seem a little bit...excessive? I love the Dog and all, but...he doesn't really CARE about movies. In fact, when he hears a dog barking on TV, he sighs, rolls over, and goes back to sleep. And most of the time, I don't think he even LIKES being hugged. So really, the only option I want to add on is "please try to keep my dog alive for the 4 days that he'll be with you and if at all possible, don't let any of the other dogs beat him up." That's all I ask.

Statistically Speaking

My advisor created a survey about scientists. And then, we had lots of people fill out the survey, and now, my job consists almost entirely of looking at the results from these people that filled out the survey. And my conclusion is that human beings? Are NUTS. Seriously, they make no sense whatsoever. Because if they made sense, they would not say that in their opinion, scientists are both organized AND disorganized. Or that scientists are both technically competent AND technically incompetent. Because really, HOW CAN YOU BE BOTH? And yet, somehow, in the minds of the people who filled out these darn surveys, you can indeed be both popular and friend-less, all at the same time.

So my job this week is to try to decide which of these crazy people actually believe what they're saying on the surveys and which ones just didn't read the questions and marked down random answers. Which means that I've been combing through the 130 responses to almost 200 questions. Which means that my head? Is THIS close to exploding. Because in case I didn't mention it before, the answers, they DON'T MAKE SENSE. And next time, we should give this survey to computers instead because I bet you a billion dollars that computers would answer the questions consistently.

The Usual Ramblings

-McMoose has the day off today. I don't. Granted, I'm only working until noon, which is now only an hour-and-a-half away, but the point remains that he got to sleep in and I didn't. And the point further remains that he gets to be at home RIGHT NOW and I don't. And the point further remains that I'm used to being the one who has a lot of time off, so this turnaround feels very strange to me.

-There was a time, 3 summers ago, when I thought "Hey, kittens are really cute. And I like them a lot. So I'm going to get one." So off I went to the shelter, where I chose the loudest little kitten there was, and I was so worried about his health and well-being that I trained him to sleep on the bed near my feet so I could check on him throughout the night. Which was fine when he weighed a pound, but now that he has increased that weight by a factor of 12, it's no longer fine. Especially now that I'm waking up every 30 minutes because I just CAN'T GET COMFORTABLE, it's very much not fine. But apparently, old cats refuse to learn new tricks like, say, sleeping on one of the eighty other soft surfaces in the apartment, so instead, we play power games all night long. And generally speaking, he wins.

-Apparently, all the professors who usually teach classes on Fridays in this building have decided that the weather is too wet and gloomy to hold class today, so there's no one here. Not one single person. In fact, the elevator hasn't even been making its habitual grumbling noises because it HASN'T BEEN MOVING. At all. All day. I feel like I'm in a ghost town. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to see tumbleweed blowing across the hallway.

Where's The Fire?

I got chased down by a firetruck this morning. I was driving, the road was busy (and only had one lane going each way), the firetruck got behind me, I panicked and turned into an Arby's parking lot...and the firetruck TURNED IN BEHIND ME. With lights flashing and horn blaring. So I thought okay, the fire is in the Arby's building so let me just go ahead on out of the parking lot and onto the side street...and the firetruck followed me AGAIN.

By this point, my entire body was dripping down a cold sweat and I was on the verge of a panic attack because when you've been trained for 8 years to GET OUT OF THE WAY of emergency vehicles and then one fine day, you find that no matter what you do, the emergency vehicle is behind you, you tend to get a little nervous. So I continued down the side street, which was both one-way and very, very narrow, so there was no place for me to pull over. Finally, I decided the best plan would be to pull into the nearest driveway...and GUESS where the fire was. Go ahead. Take a stab at it. If you guessed that it was in the house belonging to the driveway I pulled into, you get a shiny gold star for being well-versed in the evil schemes of Irony. Suffice it to say that I did not make it to class on time this morning.

The Dog has long since proven himself to be Most Untrustworthy in terms of being left in a room alone, so as a result, our apartment is gated and situated such that he is never allowed to be out of sight from us, ever. That way, when he tries to pull up the carpet or pee on the floor, he can't use the "But I thought you couldn't see me" excuse. And when McMoose and I are out of the apartment, Dog gets to spend quality time in his kennel. So you can imagine my surprise when I got home this afternoon and found myself greeted at the door by excited, doggy kisses.

My first thought was that maybe McMoose had worked from home today, but after a thorough search of the apartment (and a glance out at the parking lot), that did not seem to be the case. Then, I thought that maybe we forgot to put him in the kennel this morning, but after a thorough search of my memory, that didn't seem to be the case either. So I'm left now with the following questions: How did the Dog, who is sorely lacking in opposable thumbs, open BOTH the latches on the kennel door? How did the Dog, who can barely hop into my car, jump OVER the baby gate that has been set up to prevent him from wandering from the office (where the kennel is located) into the living room (where the Dog was located)? And perhaps most importantly, how is it possible that the Dog was wandering free in the apartment, but the trash had not been disturbed, the furniture had not been chewed, and there was no objectionable material on the carpet?

Just Peachy

I tend to be fairly conservative in terms of Trying New Things, especially when those New Things are actually New Foods. So this afternoon, when I went to one of my favorite lunch places and ordered one of my favorite items on their menu, I decided that I'd be a little adventurous and try one of their little fruit drink things. And since normally, the only juice I drink is apple, I decided to go even further out on the limb and try mango (because let's face it, pineapple is just too strange and banana? HOW DO YOU JUICE A BANANA?)

The can was all orange and ice cold and just generally appealing and I noticed it said "Juice with Fruit Pieces," and thought the whole thing sounded very interesting, so I hurried back to my office and popped it open. Let me just start by saying that almost immediately, I was beginning to regret this whole venture because the juice? It resembled egg drop soup. And it was yellowish brown, which is not at ALL the color I associate with mangoes. But it smelled mango-ey and delicious, so I decided to put my fears aside once again.

At first sip, something seemed odd. I took another sip. And a third. And then I realized: the bits of fruit floating around in my juice? They tasted nothing like mango. So upon closer inspection of the ingredient list on the can, I found out that the breakdown of the drink was like this:
-10% mango juice
-50% peach smush
-water, asorbic acid, citric acid, etc.

So...my mango juice was actually PEACH juice with a little bit of mango flavoring added in. And also, what exactly is "peach smush?" I mean, is that really the best, most technical term they could find to describe the stuff?! But with that said, I gotta tell ya--next time I go back to that restaurant, I'm totally getting more of this weirdness. Maybe I will try the banana after all.

Cancellation Tribulation

About three weeks ago, I made an appointment with a doctor, and then heard some very bad reviews about that practice, so decided to cancel the appointment. Now, making that appointment is on my list of Top 10 Easiest Things I've Ever Done in My Life. Cancelling it was a whole 'nother story. I called about 2 weeks ago to cancel and spoke to a very confused sounding person, and that conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi, I have an appointment for such-and-such a day and I'd like to cancel it.
Receptionist: I can't do that.
Me: You...can't cancel appointments?
Receptionist: Well, hold on, maybe I can.
Me: ...o...kay...
Receptionist: What's your name?
Me: Anisha LastName
Receptionist: I'm sorry, your appointment is with Dr. Scott and I can only cancel appointments for the other doctors.
Me: Um. Really?
Receptionist: No wait, I found a button that says cancel. I think it worked.
Me: Great!
Receptionist: Yeah, I think your appointment is cancelled, but call back tomorrow to make sure.
Me: Ok. Sure.

Since I am the queen of procrastination, I did not call the next day, but decided to wait until just now. And THAT conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi, I had an appointment for such-and-such a day, and I tried to cancel it 2 weeks ago, but the person I talked to wasn't sure if it was actually cancelled or not, so I'm just checking back.
Receptionist: Ok, what's your name?
Me: Anisha LastName.
Receptionist: No, it didn't get cancelled...in fact, you have 4 appointments scheduled back to back.

So...the first receptionist pushed the cancel button and instead of cancelling the appointment, three additional ones popped up? And also, don't you think that someone at that office should have gotten suspicious that the same name showed up on four consecutive appointment times?