If I were a dinosaur, I'd want to be the kind that has the flaps of skin tucked beside its head so that when I got frustrated, I could hiss and puff out the flaps and look all menacing-like. I came to this realization when my computer froze up for the 15th time this morning and I put my hands behind my ears, flapped them forward and snarled at the computer. My office mates probably think I've lost my mind, but it was oddly therapeutic.
Apparently, this is the kind of crazy behavior you start to exhibit when...
(a) You can't stay asleep for more than 40 minutes at a time.
(b) You're facing the possibility that you might be spending the next 5 months of your life timing "perfectly harmless, completely normal" Braxton-Hicks contractions. If they're so harmless and normal, why do I have to time them? And also, why do I have to drink 20 ounces of water each time I have one? And also, have you ever tried drinking 20 ounces of water 8-12 times a day? IT. CAN'T. BE. DONE.
(c) You call the computer people YET AGAIN and are told YET AGAIN that your computer is perfectly fine. If it's fine, then why won't it let me check my email? Or open a spreadsheet? Or type 2 consecutive words without freezing up?
(d) You get a call from your vet telling you that your dog has cancer. And then, you have to explain to 3 different people that no, that's impossible, because your last visit was a month ago and they already gave you all the test results that said he was fine, so unless they broke into your apartment in the middle of the night and ran unauthorized tests, they've got the wrong number. And after 15 minutes of telling you that "denial is a perfectly normal stage in the grief process," one of them FINALLY thinks to actually check the file and finds that in fact, they've got the wrong number. So now, not only am I annoyed by their lack of conscientiousness, I also feel terrible for the person whose dog actually does have cancer.
Surely, you understand why pretending to be a dinosaur is really not all that odd at this point in time.
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