Dear Cell Phone Company,
My phone no longer rings when people call it. And sometimes, it tells who ever is calling that the number is no longer in service, which leads them to believe that I've died a fiery death. And then, they email me about how they're worried about this fiery death possibility, and then I have to email them BACK in a timely manner and reassure them that in fact, I am fully alive and quite un-burned. And quite frankly, this is not an email that I enjoy writing. Especially not multiple times. So if you could just go ahead and fix whatever glitch is causing this, that would be FANtastic. And also, the next time I call your customer service line and your only suggestion is that I get a NEW phone, even though my current phone is less than 2 years old and THEN you inform me that if I DO get a new phone, I'd have to pay the full, non-promotional price (aka: $200) for it, please don't be surprised if I reach through the phone lines and flick your ear.
Sincerely,
Your not-so-faithful-anymore customer.
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