Our birth class instructor used to say that during the first few weeks postpartum, we should consider it an accomplishment if we managed to take a shower every day. At the time, I scoffed because come on--a shower as an accomplishment? It's ridiculous, right?
Apparently not so much. Because the morning schedule goes something like this:
-Wake up. Realize you should have fed the baby an hour ago. Panic and look at the baby to make sure he's still alive. Realize that he is breathing. Debate letting him sleep for another 20 minutes. Remember that he still hasn't regained his birth weight, so he needs to be fed RIGHT NOW.
-Wake McMoose. Ask him to change the baby. He grumbles something about how he's trying to open his eyes. Sigh.
-5 minutes later, McMoose's eyes are open. The baby's eyes, on the other hand, are still tightly shut. McMoose changes the baby. Baby screams bloody murder.
-Get everything necessary to feed the baby. Scoff at all those books and articles that say breastfeeding is great because you don't need any extra stuff. Clearly, the authors of those books and articles did not require blankets and plastic shields and pumps in order to have a relatively successful and pain-free nursing session.
-Start feeding the baby, who promptly falls asleep 90 seconds into the process.
-After 30 minutes of intermittent sleeping and eating, decide that he probably has eaten enough. Put him down. He immediately wakes up. Rock him for 20 minutes until he's asleep again. Put him down. He immediately wakes up and this time, he screams. And screams. And SCREAMS. Rock him. Shush him. Sing to him. Give up and sit there holding him and staring at him, wondering what kind of crazy being you've brought into this world.
-An hour later, decide to feed him again. The screaming finally comes to a blessed end. 90 seconds into the process, he falls asleep.
Rinse. Repeat. And this is why showers? Yeah, totally don't happen until after noon on most days.
*I'd like to add a disclaimer to this post: When Luke is screaming like a crazed little hyena, I still think he's cute. Clearly, this kind of irrationality is exactly what has ensured the survival of the human species thus far.*
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2 comments:
Ryan was the same way. It does get better, but they still hate being put in their bed, and the screams get louder! But I promise it does get better...
I felt like I had read this before - oh yeah, Sam wrote a blog very similiar to this a while back - you are not alone even though it feels that way - love your sense of humor about things - Rachel is right it too shall pass
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