Thrown For A Giant Loop

I knew going in that this parenthood thing would come with its share of surprises, but I really didn't expect to be hit with so many in the first six days. I mean, the kid is less than a week old, and already, most of what I thought I knew about babies, based on YEARS of experience with babies of all sizes, shapes, and temperaments has pretty much gone out of the window.

-I had expected that Luke would wake up at least every couple of hours throughout the day and night. Instead, I have given birth to possibly the first child on the face of the planet who can sleep a six hour stretch with no complaints. The trade-off (you knew there was one coming, right?) is that before his six hours of sleeping like an angel, he spends a minimum of one hour screeching like a howler monkey who cannot be comforted, usually at about 1 AM. I'm waiting for the eviction notice any day now.

-I had expected that his two hour sleep sessions would happen in the crib or bassinet. Apparently, he had other plans because while he sleeps great in the bassinet during the day, he has decided that at night, monsters live in there, so the minute we put him in there, he wakes up and acts like a possessed little demon child. End result: more often than not, he ends up in bed with us, where he sleeps like a log until we wake him up to eat. *Sigh*

-I expected a baby who would hate being swaddled, like being rocked and held, and accept a pacifier. What I got is a baby who LOVES being swaddled, but who also possesses the ability to break out of every swaddle imaginable. I guess I could just use duct tape, but I think the law would frown on that. And he likes being rocked and held--by McMoose. The minute he sees me, he starts screeching like a pterodactyl and sits there with his mouth open, waiting for me to feed him. Again. And he takes a pacifier when it suits his needs. In other words, ALMOST NEVER. The rest of the time, if we dare put the paci in his mouth, he starts thrashing his head around like a demented catfish.

I don't know what to make of this kid. All I can say is that I hope he grows out of the screaming-at-the-top-of-his-very-powerful-lungs-for-HOURS-AT-A-TIME soon. Like TODAY.