I'm going through the process of renewing my (um...expired) passport and because I'm still an Indian citizen, I've had the joy of going through the Indian consulate. That process has gone something like this:
1. Locate all necessary documents. This is like a little treasure hunt. The links to most of the documents are either missing or broken. Several of the documents are referenced in a rather off-hand way, but no mention is made of where one might find such a document. In one case, a document is called "Thai passport checklist." You are not applying for a Thai passport, but since it's included in the list of required documents, you fill it out anyway.
2. Fill out two pages of an application online. Print. Fill the rest out by hand. (For what reason?)
3. Include 11 copies of a passport photo. (Each order of passport pictures comes with two pictures. For $12. I'll let you do the math on that one.)
4. Include a notarized copy of every identifying document you have. Every single one. Oh, and while you're at it, include copies of your spouse's identifying documents, too. (Have you ever asked someone to notarize a copy of your mortgage bill? They look at you like you've lost your everloving mind.)
5. Fill out the same form eight times, by hand. (This serves as punishment for letting your passport expire in the first place, I suppose.)
6. Go to Walgreens and ask them to take a passport photo of you AND your spouse together. (They will also look at you like you've lost your mind. Because let's think about this for a minute. If you already have a notarized copy of our marriage certificate AND notarized copies of the spouse's identifying documents, then what exactly does a joint picture prove?)
7. Fill out an online order form for the passport. But before you can do that, you need a tracking number for your package. Oh, but you can't mail your package before you do the order form because after you fill out the order form, they email you a receipt and that receipt has to be included with your package. That was a fun puzzle to solve! (If you ever find yourself in this ridiculous situation, the answer is that you have to register online with a delivery company and create a shipment and print out the shipping labels and tracking information and then fill out the order form for the passport and then put everything together, go to the delivery company, buy an envelope, affix the shipping labels you printed out at home, and then send it out.)
8. Four days later, get a phone call from a very harried young man telling you that you forgot to sign things twice. I was under the impression that since I was signing every page of paper in front of me, that would be enough. I was incorrect. I needed to sign some of those pieces of paper TWICE. On two signature lines that were right beside each other. Sure. Makes complete sense.
9. The now double-signed papers need to be notarized, of course. Except the phone call came at 5 pm on a Friday. Banks are closed on Saturday and Sunday and even Monday, if that Monday happens to be a national holiday. Luckily, UPS has a notary on staff. Huzzah!
10. Pay extra for the service of having the package delivered within 18 hours. (Did you even know you could do such a thing? I had no idea!) Because the harried man promised that he would hold your package "for a few days," but you have no idea what will happen at the end of those few days or whether he's counting calendar days or business days or even how many days count as "a few."
11. Wait. And hope. And pray. (My biggest hope at the moment is that they will put my name on my passport rather than McMoose's name. The harried man seemed very confused by the prospect of a passport with a first, middle, and last name. Furthermore, he offered to put McMoose's name on there and when I said that would not work for the purposes of, oh, traveling anywhere, he seemed confused as to why not.)
1. Locate all necessary documents. This is like a little treasure hunt. The links to most of the documents are either missing or broken. Several of the documents are referenced in a rather off-hand way, but no mention is made of where one might find such a document. In one case, a document is called "Thai passport checklist." You are not applying for a Thai passport, but since it's included in the list of required documents, you fill it out anyway.
2. Fill out two pages of an application online. Print. Fill the rest out by hand. (For what reason?)
3. Include 11 copies of a passport photo. (Each order of passport pictures comes with two pictures. For $12. I'll let you do the math on that one.)
4. Include a notarized copy of every identifying document you have. Every single one. Oh, and while you're at it, include copies of your spouse's identifying documents, too. (Have you ever asked someone to notarize a copy of your mortgage bill? They look at you like you've lost your everloving mind.)
5. Fill out the same form eight times, by hand. (This serves as punishment for letting your passport expire in the first place, I suppose.)
6. Go to Walgreens and ask them to take a passport photo of you AND your spouse together. (They will also look at you like you've lost your mind. Because let's think about this for a minute. If you already have a notarized copy of our marriage certificate AND notarized copies of the spouse's identifying documents, then what exactly does a joint picture prove?)
7. Fill out an online order form for the passport. But before you can do that, you need a tracking number for your package. Oh, but you can't mail your package before you do the order form because after you fill out the order form, they email you a receipt and that receipt has to be included with your package. That was a fun puzzle to solve! (If you ever find yourself in this ridiculous situation, the answer is that you have to register online with a delivery company and create a shipment and print out the shipping labels and tracking information and then fill out the order form for the passport and then put everything together, go to the delivery company, buy an envelope, affix the shipping labels you printed out at home, and then send it out.)
8. Four days later, get a phone call from a very harried young man telling you that you forgot to sign things twice. I was under the impression that since I was signing every page of paper in front of me, that would be enough. I was incorrect. I needed to sign some of those pieces of paper TWICE. On two signature lines that were right beside each other. Sure. Makes complete sense.
9. The now double-signed papers need to be notarized, of course. Except the phone call came at 5 pm on a Friday. Banks are closed on Saturday and Sunday and even Monday, if that Monday happens to be a national holiday. Luckily, UPS has a notary on staff. Huzzah!
10. Pay extra for the service of having the package delivered within 18 hours. (Did you even know you could do such a thing? I had no idea!) Because the harried man promised that he would hold your package "for a few days," but you have no idea what will happen at the end of those few days or whether he's counting calendar days or business days or even how many days count as "a few."
11. Wait. And hope. And pray. (My biggest hope at the moment is that they will put my name on my passport rather than McMoose's name. The harried man seemed very confused by the prospect of a passport with a first, middle, and last name. Furthermore, he offered to put McMoose's name on there and when I said that would not work for the purposes of, oh, traveling anywhere, he seemed confused as to why not.)
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