About a Frog

There's a cop that lives in my apartment complex and I am currently fascinated by him or her for a couple of reasons. First, I'm not entirely sure if he or she exists, because although I see the cruiser in the parking lot nearly every day, I've never actually seen the cop. In fact, in the two years that I've lived in the neighborhood, I'm not sure if the cruiser has ever actually been moved.

And second, on the dashboard of the cruiser lives a very friendly looking stuffed frog. Ok, let's think about this for a second, shall we? You're a hardened criminal. You've just led the police on a high speed chase across three counties. You're finally getting tired and thinking about pulling over and turning yourself in, when you look in the rear view mirror and see a stuffed frog in the cop car behind you. I don't know about you, but at that moment, I would decide that the Canadian border might not be that unattainable after all. Because what the hell kind of criminal wants to get taken in by a cop who HAS A COMFORT OBJECT?

Don't get me wrong, I think the frog is cute. If I were to get pulled over by a cop with a stuffed animal on the dash, I would probably be slightly less grumpy about the whole getting-a-ticket thing. But given the dangers of the job, wouldn't you want to seem as tough as humanly possible? And if so, where does a stuffed frog fit in?