All By Myseee-eee-eeelf

Despite the snow and ice that is currently residing in Raleigh, it's Spring Break for the University. Which means that (a) I found an AWESOME parking spot this morning and (b) I'm the only one in the office today. Actually, I think that aside from the cleaning lady and whoever is making that awful jackhammering noise up on the roof, I might very well be the only person in the entire building today. Which in turn means that this is PRIME OPPORTUNITY for roving serial killers and zombies. *Shiver*

So. How exactly does one go about protecting oneself from serial killers and zombies? I mean, vampires are easy because you just carry some garlic or a cross around, but I don't think zombies really care about garlic or crosses. And I imagine that if I waved a clove of garlic in the face of a serial killer, it would probably just enrage him further. So. My current plan goes something like this:

1. Check office for serial killers and zombies.
2. If a serial killer is found, stab him with the car keys and then run.
3. If a zombie is found, dump water on his head, THEN stab him with the car keys and run.

I'm not sure why I think water would help with the zombie situation, but I really feel it would.

...Maybe if I worked on my statistics instead of coming up with cockamamie plans, I'd actually be able to leave this building at a reasonable hour.

...Or maybe I should just carry a baseball bat around for the rest of the week. It would probably be a better weapon than car keys.