Not Looking To Buy A Bridge

The first time I was introduced to the idea of recycling, I was in the fourth grade and it was an instant hit with me. How could it not be? The way I understood it, all I had to do to save THE ENTIRE EARTH was to put stuff that I was ALREADY THROWING AWAY into a little blue recycling bin. Plus, it seemed to me that sorting the class trash into paper and plastic and aluminum and glass during science class was a pretty good deal.

That first introduction got me all excited about saving the world, and when it became clear that the Power Rangers did NOT need a trusty sidekick in the form of a nine-year-old Indian girl, I decided that the way to go about saving the world was by being a friend to the environment. So I continued using the classroom recycling bin, even when the novelty of it wore off for the rest of my classmates. And I made sure to turn the water off while I was brushing my teeth. And I started taking Very Quick Showers instead of Long and Leisurely Baths. And all of this was great because it helped me channel my obsessive tendencies towards a productive cause.

Fast forward to 2009, when environmental concerns seem to be on EVERYONE'S mind. I still turn off the water while I brush my teeth. I still prefer showers to baths. I still recycle. I have four dozen cloth diapers sitting in my apartment, washed, folded, and ready to go, because the thought of using disposables sends me into paroxysms of guilt. And yesterday? I made McMoose take a cardboard box out of the trash bag that he had so neatly finished tying up because to me, putting a perfectly clean, biodegradable material like cardboard inside a closed plastic bag is similar to killing innocent puppies out of the pure meanness of your heart.

So of course, when we were walking out of the grocery store last night and one of the store employees was emptying out the bin where they collect plastic bags for recycling, I HAD TO turn back and look at what he did with the bags. So I watched him collect them. And bag them all up. And walk 10 feet down the sidewalk. And PUT THEM INTO THE TRASH CAN.

Of course, this instantly triggered a rush of indignant sputtering on my part because seriously? People save those bags for days or weeks and then take the time and trouble to cart them back to the store and all those efforts are WASTED? So this morning, when I still couldn't get it out of my head, I decided that it would be a good idea to call the store. See where this is going?

Me: Hi, do you have a plastic bag recycling collection bin?
Grocery store employee: Yes, we do.
Me: And what do you do with the bags you collect?
Grocery store employee: We recycle them.
Me: Uh-huh. Because I've heard that some stores just throw them away instead of sending them to a recycling facility.
Employee: Oh, really? Yeah, we recycle ours.
Me: Okay. Because if I take the time to bring them in, I want to be sure they don't just go in the trash. So...you're sure you recycle them?
Employee: Absolutely! We're really environmentally friendly.
Me: Hm. It's just that when we were there last night, I thought I saw someone taking the bags out of the recycling bin and just putting them in the trash.
Employee: Oh, really? Yeah...that's...sometimes, people just do that. You know, they just walk up and take the bags and throw them away. We've had lots of issues with that lately. People stealing the bags. And throwing them away.

So...random people off the street walk up to the grocery store, take bags out of the recycling bins, and then throw them in the trash? I understand the need to lie in this situation, I really do, but couldn't you AT LEAST come up with a better lie??? Something along the lines of "The aliens made us do it," perhaps?