Definitely NOT Every Four Hours

Weston just had his six-month doctor visit. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I really like our pediatrician's practice. However, there are a few sticking points and one of them is that during Luke's infancy and for the first several of Weston's check-ups, there was a portion of the intake interview that went like this:

Nurse: And how often do you feed him?
Me: On demand.
Nurse: Um....
Me: So whenever he's hungry.
Nurse: So does that mean, like, every four hours?
Me: No...it means, like, whenever he's HUNGRY.
Nurse: I'm going to put down "Every 4 hours."

I realize that they're just trying to get some kind of quantification on his eating habits, and I guess if I said I fed him twice a day or something, it might give them cause for concern. But the thing is this: it's really only useful to quantify the NUMBER of times a baby eats if you can also quantify the AMOUNT he/she eats per feeding. And since I have no earthly idea how much he eats per feeding, I suspect that telling them how often he eats would serve no purpose whatsoever.

And that's even assuming I could tell them how often he eats. I've tried counting before. One day, it was 12 times. The next, it was 19. Seriously. He eats with great frequency. And I'm guessing that if I told them this, they would be all kinds of alarmed because according to the chart on their wall, a baby his age should about 4-5 times a day. HAHAHAHAHA.

Apparently, I've complained often enough about this part of the questionnaire (and other parents probably have, too) because they seem to have changed the wording:

Nurse: And is he fed on a schedule or on demand?
Me: On demand.
Nurse: Ok, then.

Yay for doctor's offices where they actually listen to patient input...even if it DOES take two-and-a-half years of input before changes are made!

True Colors

Four years of living in the mountains of Virginia ruined me because the mountains are BEAUTIFUL. All the time. And other places, through no fault of their own, really can't compare to all that natural beauty. At least MOST OF THE TIME, they can't. Today was one of those rare days when Raleigh was every bit as gorgeous as Blacksburg ever was.

For the past five years of living here, I haven't seen much in the way of fall foliage. Up until now, fall in Raleigh has gone something like this: green leaves on all the trees-->a big thunderstorm with lots of wind-->bare, dead-looking twig-trees. So I was very pleasantly surprised when I was driving home from story time this morning to discover that we have fall colors! FINALLY! In fact, I had to remind myself a couple of times that I had two very precious, small people in the car and that I should QUIT LOOKING AT THE TREES and pay attention to the road instead.

Here's hoping that the colors stick around for a few days. It's nice to get the reminder that a mountain view isn't the only one worth having.

So Far, So Great

After spending the summer at home with his mom, who is a teacher, Other Baby returned yesterday. I'll be honest: I expected it to be hard. I expected the boys to fight. I expected Other Baby to cry and want to be held and not want to nap during the transition and I expected Luke to be jealous that Other Baby was being held and so on. And I expected these things in part because last spring, that's what it was like. There was a lot of fussing and whining by both babies. There was a lot of jealousy and bickering. There was also a lot of good stuff and I loved watching the two of them playing together, but taking care of both of them was hard and even though I was only doing it part-time, it frequently left me exhausted.

As it turns out, two months make a WORLD of difference. I know I'm only two days into it and I'm sure we'll have our share of bad days, but so far, this is AWESOME. And this time, Other Baby is here full-time and it's STILL awesome. They're both mobile enough that we can get out of the house without too much trouble, but at the same time, neither one of them is fast enough to effectively run away from me. They have similar schedules. They eat similar foods. And best of all? They love, love, LOVE playing together.

I mean, there are still (many, many) times when Luke pushes Other Baby or when Other Baby sits on top of Luke and tries to stuff things into his mouth (Why, Other Baby? WHY?), but the fact remains that they follow each other from room to room and look for each other when they wake up from their naps and hug each other at random times during the day. (Okay, so the hugs usually result in tears because invariably, the huggee decides that he doesn't want to be hugged and then the hugger trips and they both fall down, but for the 2 seconds before any of this happens, it's just a sweet moment.)

Thing 1 and Thing 2

• Thing 1: I've developed a new found appreciation for construction sites. Not because I like the dust or the noise, mind you, but because every time we pass by one, a little voice pipes up from the backseat: "Tuck! Tuck! Mama, Tuck!" (A "tuck," in case you're unfamiliar, is an excited toddler's version of the word truck.) This morning, we were on the way to the playground when we happened across a construction site, where we just HAD TO find a comfy spot across the street and sit and watch the trucks. For 30 minutes. We never did make it to that playground.

• Thing 2: Remember my Very Stupid Mistake? About two weeks ago, I got a postcard from the Maryland Metro Authority Lost And Found telling me that they had found an item that I had presumably lost and could I please come pick it up before they destroyed and/or donated it to charity. Since I didn't want my stuff burned, shredded, or donated, I promptly sent an emissary (aka: mom) to collect it and mail it back to me. Our guess is that the purse fell off the car near the bus stop and that someone gave it to the bus driver, who then passed it on to the lost and found. Of course, somewhere along the way, all the cash got taken out of it. Oddly, I'm okay with the $100-ish dollars being taken, but I'm a little bit annoyed they took my two dollar bill. Which I had saved for oh, about a decade. I mean, really, what are you going to do with two stinkin' dollars? (Then again, they also took the handful of nickels and pennies, so in that context, I guess two whole dollars is quite the windfall.)
  

Summer Is...

...the milky smell of sunscreen wafting through the 100-degree interior of the car. The air conditioner, turned up to the highest setting, spews warm air, clearly staging a protest against these inhuman working conditions. The baby, trapped in his plastic and foam prison, issues similar protests until he is handed a sippy cup filled with tepid water. Soon, the only noise from the back is the contented slurping of a thirsty child.

...a giggling, splashing, kicking child who wiggles and slithers away in a wading pool, slipping away in a crowd of similarly splashing children. A moment later, he has decided to immerse himself completely and, heart beating wildly, I pull him back up. He turns to me with a grin, knowing all along that I'd save him.

...the dappled sunlight of a park trail marked with white arrows to show us the way. The hard, packed dirt stirs beneath our feet as we stomp our way through, keeping our eyes peeled for poison ivy and errant snakes. Squirrels chatter at us in irritation as we interrupt their mid-morning nap.

...the sweet, sticky, drip-drip-drip of redness down our arms as we bite into a newly cut watermelon. The baby, caught up in the moment, eats through half a rind before we think to stop him and when we finally do, he laughs uproariously, stopping to chatter his beaver teeth at us.

...the sweet weight of a sleeping child, exhausted from his sun-filled adventures. As I lean in to kiss his neck, I get a whiff of the milky smell of sunscreen.

Babies

Earlier this week, I went to my first movie, post-Luke. You'd think that after having spent the past 12 months constantly looking at a baby, I'd have had my fill, but what movie did I go to? Babies.

If you haven't heard about this movie, it's a kind-of documentary that follows four babies from four different countries around for their first year of life. To be perfectly honest, I expected the movie to be kind of boring. I mean, there's very little dialogue, what with the main characters being non-verbal and all and how interesting could it be to spend 90 minutes looking at short clips of strange babies? Turns out: very.

There are so many child-rearing conventions that are taken for granted: don't let your kids eat rocks because they will choke to death. Don't leave your baby alone near water because babies can drown in as little as an inch of standing water. Don't leash your baby to the bed because (a) they could strangle on the rope and (b) they might start believing themselves to be a dog and then, they'd start licking themselves in rude places and how are you going to explain that to the family?

But as it happens, all of these rules are cultural, as shown by the genius (seriously, genius) editing of this movie. It was funny (not necessarily ha-ha funny) to see the differences between the concerns of the parents in the two developed countries versus in the developing countries. It was funny (ha-ha funny) to see all four of the babies acting like...well...babies, regardless of whether they were wearing a loin cloth or a designer onesie. All in all, it was a great choice of a first movie AND it made me appreciate my baby all the more when I got back home.

Sprung

At the start of every season, I decide that that's my favorite season. Winter is always highly exciting because of the possibility of snow, however remote. Summer is great because there are pools and trail walks and up until this year, summer break. Fall? Very pretty, lots of birthdays, Halloween, thanksgiving, etc. But right now, the benefits of Spring outweigh all the rest by far.

I'm loving the new-green color of the trees, the recently returned birds, the fact that we can once again venture out without worrying about a coat. I love wearing flip-flops and I really love all the warm weather clothes I got to buy Luke this past weekend. But the really great thing about Spring is that it's always filled with a sense of wonder.

By the time Summer rolls around, it's easy to take all the awesome-ness of warm weather for granted. Especially when "warm" has turned to "blisteringly hot" and just stepping outside saps you of all your energy. But right now, everything is still a novelty and it's just SO MUCH FUN!

(Added benefit of Spring this year: having a baby who (a) enjoys being outside and (b) takes great naps after playing outside)

((Not so great thing about the warm weather? The wasps have returned to our porch. Buzz.))

Our Week in Bullets

We've had a big week around here, with lots of activities and changes. Here are a few...

• Yellow Cat figured out how to open the laundry room door earlier this summer, which is highly annoying, but lately, I've been finding his toys sitting INSIDE the washing machine. I still don't know how he does that.
• Luke has figured out that hey! He has hands! He can't get them to do exactly what he wants, but he can hug his favorite toy frog and pull off my glasses when I'm feeding him.
• He has also started "laughing." I put that word in quotes because it's not so much a real laugh as an overly theatrical...um...noise that goes "Ahhh...ahhh...ahhh..."
• We've been looking at SUVs again and I think we've finally decided on one. But there were at least 2 other people looking at it too, so who knows if it will still be available when we call later today to make an offer.
• Luke has also figured out how to use his doorway jumper. And by "use," I mean that he spins around in circles and does this odd, little hop that makes him look like a deranged flamingo. And then, he swings wildly around and I come close to having several heart attacks because his head always comes within CENTIMETERS of the door frame.
• We've been doing things every day this week and as a result of that and the fact that my insomnia has returned in full force, I am worn out. I don't think I've mentioned it on here, but when we realized that I was having supply problems and Luke wasn't gaining weight, the most powerful tool in our arsenal was that we started waking up our child, who was sleeping 9-10 hours each night, at 3 in the morning so that he could have an extra, large feeding. It worked, in that we saw weight gain almost immediately, but as a result of that disturbance each night, I now lie awake for about 2-3 extra hours trying to fall back asleep. And by the time I do, it's 6 in the morning and Luke starts stirring at 6:30.
• But! As a wonderful offset to the insomnia is the fact that Luke, who used to eat for an hour at a time, has figured out how to get the same amount of food in 20 minutes. Do you have any idea how much extra time I have on my hands? I actually straightened up the whole house, scrapbooked, sewed, and then got so bored that I rolled all his blankets up and arranged them artfully in a basket. I vacuumed, I kept up on the laundry, I dusted, I baked. Seriously, I don't know what to do with all this time.
  

The Possibilities Are Endless

Since my third trimester of pregnancy, I've meant to go to the monthly breastfeeding support groups held by La Leche League, but I kept putting it off for "just one more month" because (a) I'm not so good with new social situations and (b) I was a bit worried of being one of *those* moms. You know. The kind that breastfeed. The kind that use cloth diapers. The kind that co-sleep. The kind that make their own baby food and try to cook with whole foods and maybe even the kind that avoid eating meat.

Except that I do breastfeed and cloth diaper and co-sleep. I'm sure I'll at least try the whole baby food making thing and although I don't currently restrict myself to cooking with whole foods (because dude, I'm just happy when I manage to pull it together for long enough to cook ANYTHING), I did go through a vegetarian phase which ended only because I needed the protein and iron while I was pregnant. So really, by avoiding the meetings, I was only cutting myself off from other, similar minded moms in the area.

When I started having supply problems, I decided that I'd *finally* go to a meeting, and by a most excellent stroke of luck, I got an email from one of the women in my old birth class about attending a meeting today, so I gathered up my courage (and the diaper bag), and off we went.

Can I just say how much I appreciated being in a room full of women and their babies? Not a lot of my friends have children, so I often feel like the odd one out--the one thinking about milk supply and sleeping habits and diaper output, instead of concerts and careers and weekend plans. (Well. I DO think about weekend plans, but they're more along the lines of "this weekend, we can try out the jogging stroller" instead of "this weekend, I will test the limits of my tolerance for jello shots.")

So now, I'm hooked. I'm going to a weekly meeting on Friday. And then? Maybe I'll sign up for a Mommy and Me class. And then? Maybe I'll actually know people who have children! *Gasp!* And maybe we'll get together for play dates and maybe our kids will grow up together and maybe I'll find someone to exercise with and maybe, maybe, maybe....maybe I'm getting just a little bit ahead of myself.

Lunchtime Fun

I got to have lunch with some friends today, one of whom has a baby just a few months older than Luke and at some point in the afternoon, it occurred to me that the last time I had seen this baby, he was Luke-sized and Luke was very much smaller and living in a dark and watery world. In fact, I used to joke that Luke was jealous because as soon as I picked up this other baby, Luke would start kicking at him and there were a few times that he kicked so hard that the other baby actually started crying.

And now, suddenly, Luke is the baby in my lap and my friend's baby is sitting and crawling and reaching for toys and shoes and laptops and oh-my-goodness-when-did-this-happen? When I was pregnant, there was so much possibility and I was in such a state of anticipation and now, all those things I was excited about are here and happening and I just have to say, I love this ride.

Here's the Good

Too many of my recent posts have been negative in tone, which has actually been helpful because it has allowed me to vent my frustrations, but there's so much good in my life right now that I want to be sure to record that too. So here's the good:

-McMoose, who wakes up with me at all hours of night and sits on the couch so that I don't feel quite so alone when I'm feeding Luke at night. And who sacrifices his own sleep when I'm done feeding Luke so that I can get some rest. And who's patient with the screaming when I no longer can be and who changes most of the diapers and who was able to be home with us for 3 weeks, without which I would have been completely lost.

-Luke, who's quite possibly the cutest kid ever born. And who recognizes me and looks for me, and who furrows his eyebrows and looks like a little, grumpy, old man, and who sounds like a grouchy pterodactyl when he cries out of boredom. Who curls his fingers around mine and who maybe has my nose and who has a bald spot on the back of his head which is just so kissable. Who already has a personality, and even though on bad days, that personality can only be described as "Grouchiest Human Being On The Planet," on good days, it can be described as "Knows What He Wants And Isn't Afraid To Announce It To The World," and as personalities go, that's a pretty good one.

-My family, who give me support and who listen as I complain about not getting any sleep. And who plan to visit us from faraway places, giving me a palpable sense of their interest in and excitement about Luke.

-My friends, both in real life and online, who have offered invaluable advice and insight into this early postpartum period.

-The animals, who have been adjusting to life with a screeching baby with enviable ease, and who try to "help" with the baby by pushing his swing or alerting us when he's crying (because, you know, we can't hear the screeching unless Yellow Cat screeches along or The Dog paws at us...)

-Our downstairs neighbors, who always take a peek at Luke whenever we go for walks and who always tell me how cute he is and how lucky we are to have him.

Yes, these early weeks are hard, but the good definitely outweighs the less-than-good.

Signs of Spring

After spending seven years in northern Illinois, I was always amazed by the fact that in Virginia, spring came in March or April, rather than late June. And for me, the most exciting sign of spring was the cherry blossoms, which we didn't have in Illinois and which would burst into bright whites and pinks for a week or two, and then fade to a cheery green. Imagine my delight when I discovered, upon moving to Raleigh, that there are cherry blossoms here, too. Lots, in fact. So for the past three years, every spring, I've taken pictures of the cherry blossoms when they first start blooming because I'm still not altogether convinced that by the next year, they won't all have magically disappeared.

I was very excited to discover that the drab, little, green trees that are everywhere in our current apartment complex are actually cherry blossoms! White ones, which of course, are the best kind! They're turning more green every day, so this past weekend, I decided that it was time for my annual round of pictures:


And while we're talking about signs of spring, look what McMoose found sitting in our kitchen:
Apparently, this is what happens to onions after 2 weeks of sitting unused. Of course, I was completely unable to even think about throwing it in the trash, so instead, we threw it in the woods behind our apartment complex. If, 200 years from now, the state of North Carolina is one, big, wild onion patch, you'll know who to blame.

Snow Day!!!!

It's snowing here today, which is beyond exciting for me because snow! Here! In Raleigh! For the first time all winter!

There's a little calm voice in the back of my head telling me that "Hey! You spent seven years living in a place where they counted the accumulation of snow in feet, not inches. You have no business getting this excited about two little inches of snow." But the rationality presented by that voice is lost on the overwhelming majority of my brain, which is chanting "SNOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! SNOOOOOWWWWWW!!!! SNOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!"

The little calm voice also told me that I should go to work today, a piece of advice which I confidently ignored because the last time I drove in Raleigh in snow, there was less than half an inch on the ground and still, I was nearly run off the road three different times by lunatics who apparently thought the world was ending. Plus, the university closed down and I didn't feel like walking up those 7 flights of stairs again, so I get to sit on my couch, sip on my hot chocolate, and enjoy my bona fide snow day.

Accumulating More Furniture

I got a phone call at 7:49 this morning from the futon delivery guy, saying that he was on his way. 7:49. That's a whole 11 minutes EARLIER than I wake up on mornings when I have to go to work. And also? It was a whole hour and 11 minutes earlier than the time that I was told to expect the futon to be delivered. I think that's the first time that I've ever had furniture delivered earlier than expected. It was a novel change. Although the next time I order furniture from this store? I'm going to ask for it to be delivered IN THE AFTERNOON.

This was also the first time that there was just one delivery guy. Usually there are two or three or twenty and they grumble about having to carry things up the two flights of stairs to our apartment. This guy? Carried up the entire futon by himself WITH NO COMPLAINT. Nothing. Not one single word about how cold it was (below freezing) or how heavy the box was (pretty heavy, according to McMoose, who pushed it into the hallway to lower the chance of the cats knocking it down and squishing themselves) or how many stairs he had to climb (34. I counted yesterday).

I'm really hoping this guy only had a few things to deliver today and then, he gets paid to spend the rest of the day drinking hot chocolate and playing video games because dude, he totally deserves it.

Hello, Couch. Good-bye, Bed.

Lately, my ability to roll over while asleep has suffered, so now I find myself fully waking up, getting out of bed, and then finding a new position. Which takes a lot of effort and also gives Yellow Cat the precious few seconds that he needs to poach all my space. And once he's in my space, I feel bad telling him to leave, so I end up putting myself into smaller spaces throughout the night, and the smaller the space I wake up in, the grouchier I am for the rest of the day. So last night, I decided that I would let the darn cat have my ENTIRE side of the bed and that I would go sleep on the couch. Of course, Yellow Cat followed me.

The benefit of sleeping on the couch, as it turns out, is that thanks to all the cushions, I can roll over again. Without! Getting! Up! Which meant that even though Yellow Cat spent the majority of the night being noisy and trying to claw up the seat of the couch, I STILL got more sleep than I normally do in bed. My back doesn't hurt, my head doesn't feel fuzzy, and I can do things that involve the use of more than three brain cells.

So. I hereby declare today to be the Best. Day. Ever.

And I also declare my couch to be my New. Best. Friend. And I'm very sorry about the mean things I've said about it in the past.

We Went To The Animal Fair

After 10 full days of HATING the Fair's very existence and what it meant to my daily commute (ie- added an extra 10-30 minutes, depending on the time of day), we finally made it out there yesterday. And as usual, it was terrific. Of course, this year, we had to avoid all the places with animals because the smell of dozens of animals in an enclosed space? Not the greatest when you're already sensitive to smells. But we did stay for 3 hours and despite the raging headache that I earned at the end of it, it was oh-so-worth-it. And here's why:

12:20 - arrive at Fair. Realize that it's 80 degrees and that perhaps the sweater you had chosen that morning was slight overkill. Spend the next three hours trying (fruitlessly) to roll up the sleeves.
12:30 - enter the Fair after standing in what might have been the shortest entrance line EVER. Head straight for the food.
12:32 - eat a corn dog. A yummy, deep-fried, very unhealthy corn dog. Reflect on the fact that this might be the best corn dog ever created.
12:35-12:45 - follow McMoose around as he looks for kebabs because the kebabs at the first stall we pass might not have been good enough. Grumble.
12:50 - McMoose finally decides that in the absence of other options, the kebabs at the first stall would do just fine. Return to the first stall, where McMoose promptly decides that he wants kebabs AND an gyro. Wonder silently which one of you is growing the extra person.
1 - 1:15 - sit in the grass as McMoose munches on his lunch. Realize that perhaps that one corn dog might not have been enough to fulfill your now-constant hunger.
1:20 - Notice an elephant ears stall. Buy an elephant ear with powdered sugar. Get powdered sugar all over your clothes in the process of gobbling what might be the most perfect elephant ear ever created.
1:30 - Start looking for some games.
1:45 - FINALLY find the game stalls. Try to pop some balloons with darts. Fail miserably. Rejoice when you realize that the guy who runs the stall wasn't watching and lets you have a stuffed lobster despite the miserable failure.
1:55 - Walk around shaking your 3-inch-long stuffed lobster, feeling proud. Notice someone else walking around with a 3-foot-long stuffed gorilla. Think to yourself that the lobster is better anyway, because who has room for a 3-foot-tall stuffed gorilla in their living room?
2 - Find another game where you have to throw some rubber balls onto a grid and try to get 5 in a row. Almost keel over in surprise when you actually get 5 in a row. Win a 2-foot-tall stuffed gorilla. Realize that all your prior reservations about large stuffed gorillas have now disappeared.
2:15 - Find a skeeball stall. Spend an unreasonable amount of time, effort, and money playing skeeball. After 10 minutes and $15, realize that you're never going to win at this. Leave.
2:30 - Realize that it's STILL hot and that you're STILL wearing that darned sweater. Grumble. Decide it's time to go home.
2:40 - Make one last stop at a food stall. Buy a very large plate of sweet potato chips. Proudly carry it to the car, trying to ignore the stares of EVERY.SINGLE.PERSON you pass.

Hands down, the best way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

In Which Introductions Are Made

I'd like to introduce the reason why, for the past two months, I've been both ravenous and nauseous, tired but unable to stay asleep for any length of time, and bouncing back and forth between grouchy and completely thrilled with the world:

Yes, I know it looks like a fuzzy jelly bean. I have great hopes that it will grow out of that phase within the next 7 months. Just as a reference, the head's on the right of the screen and if you look very, VERY closely, you can see toes on the left. Why exactly do fetuses grow fingers and toes before they grow arms and legs???

A Very Exciting Day

I forgot to do my weekly bullet post yesterday, so instead, here it comes today:

-We got new furniture! Yayyy! This means that (a) we're going to actually have to start eating at the table like civilized folk, instead of munching our meals in front of the TV and (b) I no longer have to worry about cockroaches climbing in my ear while I'm asleep. Except that it seems it would be easier for cockroaches to climb up the wooden bedposts than the mattress itself...so maybe I have to worry about it more now?

-The cats were most displeased about all the ruckus. They cowered, they shied, they hid. And now? They've both discovered that the new bed is high. And moreover, that they can now get UNDER the bed, which means that any day now, they'll be making a hole in the bottom cover of our box spring. I give it 48 hours.

-The furniture delivery man huffed and puffed up the two flights of stairs, and then grumbled at me about my choice of living on the third floor. Trust me, Mr. Delivery Guy, we moved a WHOLE APARTMENT worth of stuff up those stairs. We KNOW it was a bad decision. But at least there are no heavy-footed people walking around above us.

-I slept for 10 hours last night. And right now? There's nothing I'd enjoy more than a nice, long nap. If I were a bear, I'd be getting ready to hibernate right about now...I count this as further evidence that I should have been a bear.

School Zones

When I was in high school, we lived in Illinois, about an hour north of Chicago, so that's where I learned to drive. And near-Chicago drivers? They're really good at avoiding accidents at high speeds, but not always so great at following speed limits. If people in Raleigh made it their job to drive as fast as the near-Chicagoans did, there would probably be about five times more auto accidents here than there currently are.

Up until recently, I held this slow driving pace against the Raleighans. (Raleighers? Raleighists?) Because let's face it, it's no secret that I'm (a) impatient and (b) usually running late, so I like driving fast-ish. I say fast-ish because I'm not one of those crazy people who go 30 mph above the speed limit while weaving in and out of traffic. I don't have a death wish. But I also don't like being stuck behind people who don't appreciate the fast-ishness. I mean, seriously. If you're doing 30 in a 55 zone, you're just putting yourself in danger of being beaten to death with a golf club.

But I have come to realize that there are SOME instances when the slow Raleigh pace is a good thing, school zones being the example that comes most readily to mind. Now of course, all states have school zones and increased fines for speeding in a school zone and all that. But in Illinois? Not too many people cared. And every time I walked to school, I knew that I was essentially playing a high stakes game of chicken with every car on the road, most of which sported "My child is an honor student at such-and-such a school" stickers.

Here in Raleigh, it's a whole 'nother story. People actually SLOW DOWN in school zones. To 35 mph. Sometimes even 30 mph. The crossing guards don't fear for their lives. And very young people skip merrily across the crosswalk, confident in the knowledge that local drivers care more about not killing them than they do about making it to that 9:30 meeting on time. And I have to admit, it's very pleasant.

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

The newest sales tool for the Raleigh newspaper? College campuses. I was walking merrily along to my office, thinking about the fact that it was Friday and that a three-day weekend was coming up and that we're going to a football game this weekend, where I will get to see friends I haven't seen in years, when I was summoned over to a little newspaper kiosk by a very disinterested looking man. Normally when someone on campus sets up a kiosk, I avoid it like the plague because for the most part, they either want me to buy a product or buy an idea and really, if I wanted a product? I'd go to a store. And if I wanted an idea? I'd go to the library.

But this time, I was sucked in by one, magical sentence: "Do you want a FREE newspaper?" Yes, yes I do. Free things are my friends. And when the free thing is a newspaper, it becomes even more my friend because newspapers are quite possibly the most fun inventions EVER. Watching the news requires for me to be able to tolerate the newscasters' atrocious grammar (which I just can't do) and reading the news online is just overwhelming. There's too damn much of it and by the time I finish a section, all the headlines have been updated again. Newspapers, on the other hand, do not require listening to people who say "good" instead of "well" and there's a finite amount of information and plus, it's really, really fun to fold.

So of COURSE, I took the free newspaper. And carried it happily across campus, thinking the entire time about how much fun it would be to get a paper EVERY DAY. So when I was walking back to the parking deck, I warily approached the man again, certain that it would cost at least about $20 per month. Imagine my surprise when he informed me that it would be $30 FOR THE ENTIRE SEMESTER. That's three-and-a-half MONTHS worth of feeling like I know at least a tiny bit about what's going on in the world. And moreover? It's three-and-a-half months worth of Sunday coupons. My scissors and I anxiously await.