In Which I Resort to Sarcasm (Again)

This morning, as I was walking to my office, I came upon three men handing out bibles to passing students. And of course, I refused one because (a) there are plenty of bibles in the house and I don't need to waste paper by taking another one and (b) I very purposely don't read the ones I have already. Why in the name of all that is sensible would I want more? Of course, when I chose not to take one, the leader of the group decided that what I needed was to be told about how HIS god would be able to save my life. Excuse me. HIS god? Interesting...I had always thought god owned humans, but apparently, I had it all backwards...silly me!

And really, I felt bad for these men. Because it was hot. And there was a 90% chance of rain. And there they were, dressed in suits and ties and shiny shoes trying to bring religion to the poor, uncivilized youth of America. And I wondered if there had ever, EVER been a situation in which one of these poor, uncivilized youths had thought to herself (or himself, as the case may be) that, "Hey. Here's a 60-year-old man who is dressed in a suit that probably cost two entire months' salary for me. Here is a man with whom I have nothing in common. Here is a man who looks like he should be playing bridge with my grandparents. And look! He's handing out shiny, green bibles. Let me transform my life, change my beliefs, and repent my sins so that I too may one day be able to hand out bibles on a college campus."

Ethicality of pushing religious conversion aside, it seems entirely unrealistic to me that a person who is strong in his or her beliefs will be transformed simply by being given a little green New Testament that is so small that the print can barely be read without a magnifying glass. Maybe someone who is having a crisis of existence could be more easily swayed, but even there...I'm just not convinced. So. If you were a 60-year-old man, what in the world would possess you to stand on a college campus handing out bibles? If you wanted to make a difference in this world and spread the message about YOUR god's greatness...aren't there better ways to do it? Volunteering in a soup kitchen? Donating money to the cause of having children in foreign countries vaccinated against easily preventable diseases? Things that actually, oh, I don't know, MATTER? Just a thought.