Why I Prefer Email...

I've had several encounters with automated phone systems lately and I gotta tell ya--they've been fun. Of course, what I mean by "fun" is "so completely ridiculous that you have to wonder what's going on with the world." The first system was to activate a debit card and it was....interesting. I'm thinking that whoever came up with it was probably highly sadistic because here's how that *conversation* went:

Automated system: If you want to activate your Visa check card, please press 1 now.

Me: *presses 1*

Automated system: If you want to activate your Visa check card, please press 2, then pound now.

Me: *presses 2, #*

Automated system: If you want to activate your Visa check card, please press 1, then pound, then 1 now.

.......see? Sadistic. My second experience was this morning, when I called a doctor's office to make an appointment. Remember back in the day, when you'd call the doctor and the annoyed receptionist would pick up? I miss that annoyed receptionist. A lot. Because here's the alternative:

Automated system: Welcome to the so-and-so medical center. If you want to make an appointment, please press 1.

Me: *Presses 1*

Automated system: If you want to make an appointment for a routine physical, please press 1. If you want to make an appointment for a prescription refill, please press 1. If you want to make an appointment for our such-and-such clinic, please press 1. If you want to make an appointment because you are bleeding or have lost consciousness, please press 1.

And at this point, I hung up the phone because DID YOU HEAR THAT LAST OPTION? How am I going to be making a phone call if I have LOST CONSCIOUSNESS? Now maybe what they mean is "If you have lost AND REGAINED consciousness recently, please press 1." But if that were the case, don't you think you'd be dialing 911 instead? And also, notice anything strange about those options? Like maybe the fact that you're supposed to press 1 for ALL of those things? Which means that ridiculous list of options is COMPLETELY superfluous and the only reason to include it is to waste the patient's time? The patient who, by the way, might be bleeding and unconscious?