The Very Disappointing Day

Reasons I was excited to come to work today:

1. My office mate, who was out of town for the past two days, was scheduled to come back so I no longer had to obsess about whether there were serial killers on the loose in the building.
2. I knew I would get to play with my statistics program all day.
3. If the statistics program started doing strange things again, I knew I could go to my office mate, who is a statistical genius.
4. I was supposed to have lunch at a Very Good Restaurant with some Very Amusing People whom I haven't seen in months.

Reasons why I'm no longer excited to be at work:

1. My office mate decided to work from home today, which means that (a) I'm still obsessing about the serial killers and (b) there's no one to help me with the stats program.
2. The stats program? Oh, it hates me. A lot. And it takes a great deal of pleasure in telling me things that DON'T MAKE SENSE. And then I have to turn to Google to answer my questions, and the answers I get are something like this: "In order to complete the factor analysis, you must determine whether you want an orthogonal or a oblique rotation. Then, set the analysis scale based on the elbow of the SCREE graph." And then, I hang my head and cry giant tears because graphs should not have elbows. And what the hell is a rotation? AND WHY, OH WHY, DIDN'T I PAY MORE ATTENTION IN STATS CLASS?
3. I'm hungry. Tragically and woefully hungry. And lunchtime is still an hour away.